Beseiged by negative publicity in the wake of Monday night's three-hour tribute to Chris Benoit, who strangled his wife and suffocated his 7-year-old son before hanging himself, World Wrestling Entertainment has hired former White House spokesman Scott McClellan to perform damage control. "Vince McMahon was just making the best decision he could based on the information that was available at the time," said McClellan. "He certainly didn't lie or intentionally mislead anyone.
"He presented his case at ... oh, what's the word for a formal meeting or assembly of representatives ... ah yes, a congress of wrestlers and officials, and they thought the exact same thing he did about the tribute: Bring it on."
The hiring of McClellan, the least physically fit WWE employee since Yokozuna, came as a surprise to many. However, McClellan's very, very, VERY close working relationship with Jeff Gannon, the male whore/designated softball lobber in the White House press corps, demonstrates both his ability and indeed his intense passion for working with oiled-up men in tights.
Meanwhile, McMahon remained defiant amid charges that he shamelessly exploited the death and suffering of innocent people for personal gain. In fact, he not only refused to apologize but also announced an upcoming surge of further Benoit tributes.
"This policy simply needs more time to work," said the WWE Chairman, who intends to change his character's name from "Mr. McMahon" to "The Decider."
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